SINGLE SH*T AND RELATIONSHIP RUCKUS Why Your Relationships Suck and What to Do About It
The Bitter Truth
I know, I know, you want to see if this is real or if this is some clever-ass marketing shit disguised as some “foot-shuffling, folksy ‘aw-schucks’ copy” made to separate you from your money.
I get it.
Been there.
So here are two actual pages from the workbook. Read them. Try the exercise. Then decide if you want the rest.
That’s it.
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The Arsonist in your Kitchen
Stop looking for a better recipe.
You've spent years—and probably a small fortune—collecting "recipes" for a happy life. You've bought the books, followed the influencers, and tried to "manifest" a version of reality that looks nothing like the one you're currently standing in.
If you're skeptical, good. You should be. Most "free" advice is just lightweight, feel-good shit that really doesn't do much other than take up your valuable time. If you're like me, maybe you're actually a little pissed off at yourself because you fell for the "free shit" trap again.
I don't intend to insult your intelligence with this. But if you take this like some walk in the park and don't put real energy and effort into it, you're not likely to get much out of it. That will be on you.
This isn't a pep talk. If your "cake" keeps burning, we aren't going to talk about "self-love" or "positive vibes". We're going to look at the arsonist holding the matches.
- The Negotiation: You don't actually "miss" red flags. More often than not, you negotiate with them because you're terrified of being alone.
- The Past Residue: You walk into a new experience, but you're still carrying the ash of the old one. You're trying to use a canceled check to pay for a new future.
- The Fraudulent Persona: You're handing out counterfeit currency—a fake version of yourself—and acting surprised when it doesn't buy you a real life.
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The Audit of the "Good Enough"
Are you single because you're "picky," or is "independence" just the wall you built to avoid the risk of being seen?
Let's be lovingly blunt: Most people fail because they lie to themselves about their satisfaction. Lying to yourself will never net the results you are seeking. You are settling for experiences contrary to the deepest desires of your heart because you've convinced yourself that a broken kitchen is "good enough".
Ask yourself right now—don't debate it, don't explain it, just sit with the answer:
If nothing changes in your current situation—if the recipe stays the same and the kitchen stays broken—will you be truly happy in five years?
If the answer is "no," then stop faking the funk.
I didn't learn this from a textbook. I learned it from the four times I watched my own life burn down in divorce and DUIs. I survived a suicide attempt in '94 because I finally stopped trying to "fix the cake" and started fixing the arsonist.
I'm not here to give you "tips." I'm here to give you a look into your conscious choices with a greater understanding of the fucking rules.
The door is open. You can go back to using margarine and calling it butter, or you can finally admit the smoke isn't "just a little steam" and learn how to bake for real.
Your choice.
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THE "REPLACEMENT" AUDIT: Butter vs. Margarine
I want to establish something: your "cake" calls for butter and not margarine. The recipe tells you why. Most of us follow instructions in the kitchen because we want the cake, but in dating, we start swapping out ingredients and wonder why the result tastes like ash.
The Goal: To identify where you are "negotiating" with reality because you are terrified of an empty kitchen.
Step 1: The Ingredient Check
Think of your last major relationship (or the one you are currently in). List three "Red Flags" or signs that someone wasn't ready, respectful, or consistent. don't skimp or "polite"; tell the truth.
1. ---
2. ---
3. ---
Step 2: The Negotiation
Now, be "lovingly blunt". For each item above, write down the excuse you made for them. Did you shrug it off and slather on the icing you didn't ask for?
Example: "I overlooked the lack of respect because I didn't want to be alone."
1. ---
2. ---
3. ---
Step 3: The Mirror
Suppose you were to "date" you. Based on the state of your "kitchen" (your daily habits and internal dialogue) right now, answer this:
Would you want to move into the "kitchen" you are currently maintaining? Or would you take one look at the environment and walk out?
- I'd move in.
- I'd walk out.
The Five-Year Reality Check:
If the recipe stays the same, are you just waiting for the timer to go off on a cake you already know is carbon and ash?
Your Answer: ____________________________________________________
Own it.
If you're offended by this tone, good—it means you're paying attention.
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That's from Page 2 and Page 7 of the workbook.
The full workbook (2MB PDF) includes:
- 4 complete exercises (The Smoke in the Fridge, The Negotiation Ingredient, The Fraudulent Persona, Magic or Mess)
- The full Replacement Audit with 3 more steps
- The 4 Indictments framework: this is the shit that we tend to hide from and have created intricate means of internally avoiding or dancing around. Yep, it’s in your face because it will ask you to sit with your own honesty a little deeper.
- 12 journal prompts: this is not, “today I went and walked the dog.” Instead, these prompts are about assisting in creating real world looks and observations about your own behaviors and decision-making.
- A self-assessment checklist
Yeah, see, told you, this is not about fucking unicorns and rainbows; come real or stay home.
Simple.
If you want to get the full free workbook, No email needed.
No name.
No 'nurture' sequence.
Just download the work and see if this is the kind of honesty that you want.
That’s it.
We loathe the endless emails and roundabout ways of “marketing”. So the deal is, if this resonates with you and you want to move forward, there it is.
You do the work.
And if this workbook doesn’t work for you, we’ll leave you the fuck alone.
Period.