There it is.
This is my son Malachi.
at the time of this writing, how would be coming up on 27th birthday.
But he’s dead.
I don’t share this for sympathy.
I share this to let you that you can do this.
This isn't about comparing whose life is shittier, or more painful or darker. this is about recognizing that if we're still alive, even through all of the shit that seemed like it would destroy us....
You can be truly happy.
You can, truly, love and be loved beyond anything that you think you know or even believe love to be in this moment.
And no, as you will see, I not interested in rah-rah nonsense, or the kind of toxic-positivity that ultimately results in "nothing" other than a temporary sense of relief.
But to have what I have now for yourself, you’re going to have to do what so many others aren’t willing to do.
There is no way around it.
despite what the "positive vibes" and "live in the end" gurus will tell you, there is absolutely no way around yourself.
Period.
If you’re here, you’re here for a reason. I don’t know what your reason is, but I know that if you’re here, not likely here for bullshit. So whatever that reason is, it’s going to require that you stop “scrolling” long enough to read and understand this.
And if you can’t or won’t do that, ask yourself, honestly, “what the actual fuck am I doing here?”
I haven’t created anything for “scrollers”, the impatient, those in need of immediate “change” or more, for those that simply won’t slow down long enough to do the actual work.
I know, I know, many of you are here because you have shit in your life that you need to change “yesterday”, and even more of you may have an idea that something’s a bit “off” and maybe all you need is a bit of refinement and a tweak here or there.
Whatever your reason for being here, there are really only two paths here to get you started.
The first is to simply to do your own thing with whatever workbook resonates with you. get the workbook of your choice and have at it.
The second, and the one that I hope some of you will actually take, is to buckle down, suck it up, run the gauntlet that Sharon and I have lovingly created and follow a very real progression. The reasons for which are explained along the way.
That’s path two.
Path Two: The full journey—trust the guided process and continue with this page and let yourself sit with it and feel your way through. and if you're going to with us on this journey, we ask that you, for now, avoid the navigation bar and follow the links at the bottom of each page. Yes, there is a very real reason for this. But mostly, it's about trust.
or
Path One: the “quick start” and start with a free download called "the single Sht and relationship ruckus" (it ain't necessarily what you think it is. and it's free, so check it out and decide for yourself) that you can get here. Or, hell, you can even skip that and go straight to the shop and click on the foundation in the nav bar.
your choice.
Either way, whatever path you take, there are 100% free (as in, you don’t have pay anything for them) detailed samples of the workbook that will give you a very real, very good idea as to whether or not it’s for you. When I say “detailed,” that’s exactly what I mean. There is none of the weak, watered-down pandering bullshit that so many “out there” offer. Yeah, I said it, “pandering.”
And seriously, my personal suggestion is that you don’t buy anything first and that you get the sample first, like I said, see if it (and me) are going to resonate with you.
Let’s do this!
PS - this little “welcome” is a very real piece of what you can expect in the workbooks; this ain’t for the faint of heart.
I was a fucking piece of shit.
I knew it. I believed it. I lived it.
I tried to die from it.
Now, I'm free.
And I'm loved. Yes.
Loved.
Everything here on this site, in the workbooks and all that we do here is for the ones who are done pretending that their own feelings of brokenness is the truth.
We are not broken.
Fuck that.
But know this: if you want easy affirmations and gentle hand-holding, you're in the wrong place. Real change costs you. Financially, mentally, emotionally. It’s ugly. It’s painful. It may make you cry.
It is not, “easy”—at least not in the ways that so many others promise you it is.
What’s the “it”?
“It” is being radically honest with yourself.
If you're still reading, you're likely exactly who this is for.
"Getting to know yourself is not an easy task. Believe it, or don’t. Your choice. But if you do move further in, know that many have quit. Many have sought easier paths."
Quick note. This is likely unlike any other site that you’ve been to. I am not “selling” you anything. You’ll read this, decide if what’s shared here resonates with you and then, and only then, will you experience this path in the way that I have laid it out.
It’s not about what you think should happen and how it should happen.
And I want to be very clear about this from the very beginning.
So read through this page. Decide for yourself.
But you have to commit to following the process, otherwise, you may as well keep on doing what you’ve been doing and realize and accept, that if that’s how you want to do “this”, save yourself the time and offense and look elsewhere.
This is a no-bullshit zone.
If you’re offended and find it too off-putting for you, that’s perfectly okay.
You just saved yourself a lot of time and realized that what is offered here isn’t for you.
And neither am I.
Yet. — Chase Murphy, Jr.
THE MIRROR/"game": MY “FAILURES" ARE YOUR MAP
The critical thing that other “gurus” either don’t know or don’t want to speak about when it comes to intimate, loving relationships and having the kind of love and affection that many of us dream(ed) of, is that they are all based on your own self-concept. Period.
You can deny this. You can think that I am full of shit and that I have no idea what I’m talking about. And that’s 100% okay because I thought and felt that same way at one time.
And if you are not willing to entertain this concept, then I can promise you, there’s nothing here of value for you.
Yet.
Because you see, I believed the bullshit about validation and happiness being “out there” too; it’s what I was taught. It was told to me that this “was just the way the world works.”
They were wrong.
I was wrong. So very, very wrong.
Let's get another thing straight.
My parents beat the living shit out of me with belts and extension cords. They told me that shit was love. Their physical violence, the emotional and psychological structuring of my childhood worldview, and the accompanying self-concept was all built, formed and fashioned on perspectives and beliefs that were not my own. But in time, those ideas and beliefs were internalized, if for no other reason than to keep myself off of their radar and not have to suffer any more emotional or physical ass-kickings.
I cannot speak to their intent, but I finally learned and accepted, that nothing about any of that was not then, and is not now, love. It never was. But I didn’t know any better; these were the people that I looked up to for everything in my life. Every single thing.
What did the people who said they loved you, teach you love was?
Really think on that right now; what did they actually teach you?
We don't generally get taught love. We get taught performances. Obedience. Suppression. Being who others want and expect us to be. We inherit broken definitions and disjointed worldviews. And then we wonder why every connection in life feels like a living wound. And we wonder why we feel “off” or like we’re not able to feel “okay” unless we’re drinking, or fucking someone who we hope is going to make us “feel better”….
And we drag all of this shit, these beliefs about ourselves into other relationships and think that betrayal, lies, pain, disapproval, dismissal and denial are “normal”. They are not. At least not the kind of “normal” that we really, truly want to live.
The first step out of this hell is to admit you were given the wrong map. And that’s not about blaming anyone, especially yourself. Your. Self. And if you can’t or won’t accept that, consider it, or think of this deeply, then there is nothing here for you because this isn’t about convincing you of anything; this either resonates with you and makes sense, or it doesn’t. So if it doesn’t, you know what to do.
But if it does, then let’s consider, that this is all about sharing a very real journey of discovery and freedom.
What’s here is a chance to do a real-world, real-time reevaluation of and for the life you really want.
Why didn't I know?
There are things that I used to wish that someone had told me about life, love, money and being happy.
THE “PROOF"
Some of you are thinking right now, and rightly so, “where’s the proof.”
I am the fucking proof.
Parental abuse. Sexually exploited as a child . Suicide attempt. A dead infant son. Four divorces. A "lifetime" of drunk.
I am not “special”. I am living evidence.
And I don’t need your or anyone else’s permission or validation to live my own truth without shame, guilt or self-abuse.
I am living proof that the raw material of your deepest shame, the seemingly endless guilt and self-loathing can actually be forged—through relentless self-honesty—into a life of personal freedom.
And real love.
I learned my way into the love I share with my wife, Sharon. A love I never, ever thought to know and live.
What the world called my "failures" and “mistakes” were actually, in truth, the necessary curriculum.
They are your map.
I journaled the exact process that led me out. I turned it into no-bullshit, step-by-step guides and workbooks.
But there is a very real “first step”.
Who, in the actual f*ck, are we supposed to trust?
What's the
truth?
CHOOSE YOUR PATH: THE FINAL BARRIER
1. THE FOUNDATION PACK
- “Who The F*ck is You?”
- "From ‘Hell No’ to ‘Hell Yes’: Making Sense of The Life You Really Want" Workbook
- “The Love You’re After”
- “Kick Rocks: The Book. Be Real. Be Free. Be You.”
let's keep telling it like it is, shall we?
If you're not willing to sit with radical, uncomfortable honesty, stop now.
This work will frustrate you. It demands everything.
I do not offer refunds or “apologies” for your commitment issues.
But.
If you are ready—truly ready—to stop whispering the truth to yourself and start speaking it out loud, to trade your wrong map for one you draw yourself…
Everyone starts with “The single sht and relationship ruckus,” without exception if you're choosing to trust the process that we've created; for sharon and I, everyone needs to start here.
“The sht," as we'll call it for the moment, is something that Sharon and I created that is, for all intents and purposes, your “gut check”. It’s your free personal evaluation for you to see if you’re really ready to do the work, or if it’s something that you may want to reconsider.
And finally, let’s talk about “cost” before I close this out.
“The sht” is 100% free. Everything else that I mentioned above, other than the samples, costs.
If you are going to “zip” through “The sht” expecting miracles and overnight changes, again, you’re in the wrong place. You have to contend with “The sht” (as with everything and all things that we've created) honestly and openly, otherwise, again, you’re wasting your time and with that, you are better off with something far less taxing.
When you’re done with “The sht,” then we can talk about what comes next.
Your life is waiting.
And you start here.
→ [I get it, let's get to the shit]
OR
[CONTINUE WITH THE GUIDED PROCESS]
What does it even mean? Truth.
Without empty promises. Bullshit. Fast-talking. Insulting my Intelligence and preying on my desperation to finally feel good about myself and the life that I was living.
What if the life that you
truly
desire to live were actually possible?
What if the dreams that you’ve kept, the ones in your heart, in the secret places that no one else knows, could actually come true….
What “if”….