THE FEARLESS FILTER: WHO THIS IS NOT FOR

In the interest of saving both of us time and energy, I am going to get straight to the point.

My intention with this website, especially on this homepage, was to make the expectations and challenges as clear as I could. For those who either aren’t ready to ask the hard questions of themselves and then hear the answers—or are merely looking for the path of least resistance, this site won’t appeal to them.

If any of that offends you, I understand. I suspect that if I had read something like that at one time in my life, I would likely have said, “I’m out…”

I simply wasn’t ready.

And that kinda sucks because, in truth, how in the hell do we know when we’re “ready?”

And that’s the thing that we have to figure out for ourselves.

You’re still here.

Why are you still here?

Ask truthfully.

Don’t answer it fast.

[PAUSE HERE — don’t scroll yet. Answer this to yourself: Why am I actually here?]

[DON’T SKIP. ANSWER IT TRUTHFULLY]

Curious to know if this is all some elaborate “show,” or if there is really some “meat” here?

Maybe you’re thinking, “who actually does this?”

No bullshit.

Whether you stay or leave, just like everything else in your life, whether you want to hear it or not, it will all be, and is, your choice.

So own it.

This is your first conscious checkpoint

Are you paying attention to the choices that you’re making, or are you going on “impulse” and “habit?”

Are you truly willing to own your “now” in such a way as to challenge your “excuses” or desire to “blame” someone or something “out there” long enough to sit in this moment as whole and as real as you dare?

For the purposes of this site, let alone the work, I am going to ask you to consider why you’re really here and what you’re looking for.

Not in that quick, knee-jerk response. You may actually know, but humor me, and do a reassessment anyway.

Here’s why.

Along my path, I told myself I was ready, but truth is, I wasn’t.

I made all the right noises, said all the right things, but again, truth is, I was looking for the easiest path—the one that was going to “hurt” the least. I thought that I was done feeling like shit and I only wanted to hear things that made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

I didn’t necessarily know this consciously, but the patterns were there.

I was looking for all the “free”, easy stuff to ease my pains and make life all rainbowy and glittery and shit.

There is enough “free” shit on the internet.

You’ve likely been there.

Done it.

And yet… here you are.

[THINK ON IT. AGREE OR DISAGREE? DECIDE.]

I know about this life I am living.

As it is.

As it was.

And as it’s shared with the love of my lifetime.

But you will have to evaluate your own life with a level of honesty that most of us either weren’t taught to do, or that we avoided altogether.

Presumptuous?

Perhaps.

True?

Absolutely.

I can’t and won’t tell you what you need to do about your life.

That is solely your choice.

But I will share with you how I got beyond the death of my infant son.

I will share with you how that experience, which nearly tore me in two, allowed me to navigate my wife’s simultaneous cancers.

This process was shaky when what I wanted was certainty.

It sucked in a lot of ways that I still don’t have words for.

It asked me to deal with things that I’d really rather not have had to ever deal with.

For me, this was the shit that no one had ever told me about.

Over the years, I learned something the hard way:

There isn’t a single fucking material possession, glass of liquor, random sex partner or enough trips in the world for us to outrun or hide from ourselves.

At some point, we have to sit with ourselves and feel what we feel.

Wholly.

And when you do?

You stop running.

You stop negotiating with your own bullshit.

You stop repeating the same relationships, the same patterns, the same quiet dissatisfaction that you’ve been calling “life.”

And for the first time, you start to feel like you’re actually in your own skin… without needing to escape it.

Starting to feel like you’re in your own skin is something that can’t be faked and it’s amazing.

But there’s another side that isn’t discussed, but I’ll tell you now.

You will also have moments of pain and heartache, but with it, you’ll also know that it’s worth it.

You won’t see it right away.

You won’t even “feel it” right away.

[CURIOUS? → READ ABOUT THE FREE WORKBOOK]

Most people won't get any further than this.

not because they can't—

because they won't.

I’m not here to impress anyone or make empty, bullshit promises.

This is all about how I found myself on a path that I thought was of someone else’s making, only to realize who, in truth, is the architect of the life I am living.

And you can do that too.

But there are rules.

This is not for you if:

You believe “manifesting” is a substitute for hard, messy-ass, internal work.

You’d rather blame others than look in the mirror.

You’re here for “positive vibes” instead of real, lasting change.

If that’s you—save yourself the time and heartache.

There is none of that here.

This is for the ones who’ve felt fucked-up.

With the fears that didn’t really make sense.

With the doubts that never seemed to leave.

With the shit that we couldn’t explain—and yet, here we are, still fucking standing.

The ones who feel that unshakable knowing… and may have no idea what’s still driving them.

Yet they still believe that there is a way.

That the “thing” inside—that you can’t quite name—refuses to be ignored.

This is for us.

We know (now)

That the paths we have taken were not by accident.

No matter how painful and winding the journey may have been.

Or even still is.

If you’re not ready to go all-in—

On relationships.

On self-concept.

On why you’re not living the love and life that you truly want—

Then let me be even more blunt:

Fuck it, this ain’t for you.

Look elsewhere.

If the weight of this site is too much for you…

If the language…

If the honesty…

If the directness is something you can’t abide or “handle”—

Then right now, this isn’t the place.

There are easier options.

But if you’re still here…

Then let’s stop pretending.

THE UNACCEPTABLE COST OF CONTINUED HIBERNATION

Most people aren’t living the life that they really want.

They are hibernating.

Monotony.

Boredom.

A slow, quiet death.

Every single day you wait is another day you spend repeating the same patterns, attracting the same people, and feeling the same emptiness.

Before we go any further:

WRITE THIS DOWN (pen and paper is best):

1. Why am I really here?

2. What is it costing me to stay where I am?

Sit with those two questions.

Really sit with them.

THE RAW MATERIAL: MY “FAILURES” ARE YOUR MAP

I’m here to be the “compassionate asshole” you need.

My own life—childhood abuse, childhood sexual exploitation, my suicide attempt, death of my infant son, multiple divorces, DUIs, years of trying to drink myself into oblivion—wasn’t a curse.

It was the raw material.

This is not trauma “porn.”

This is the foundation of everything I share here.

Because when you actually do this work…

You don’t just “feel better.”

You begin to see clearly.

You begin to stop lying to yourself.

You begin to start making decisions that actually align with who you are instead of who you were conditioned to be.

And that changes everything.

At some point, this stops being something you read…

…and becomes something you either do—

or don’t.

And that’s where most people disappear.

THE FREE WORKBOOK IS A TEST OF INTENT

There is enough free content out there.

This is not that.

But I did give you something to start.

Every workbook has a free sample.

No endless emails.

No harassment.

No bullshit.

the free workbook, “Single Sh*t And Relationship Ruckus: Why Your Relationships Suck and What to Do About It”



You don’t need to “believe” anything I’ve said.

You just need to do the work and see what happens.

That’s it.

If you quit after ten minutes—

Save your money.

If you don’t quit?

You’re going to see yourself in a way you probably haven’t before.

THE INVESTMENT: CHOOSING OWNERSHIP

The stuff that I have here is not free…

IMPORTANT: THERE ARE NO REFUNDS HERE.

Let me ask you something:

How much longer are you willing to keep doing it the way you’ve been doing it?

THE ONLY PROMISE I MAKE

I live the love now.

I am free.

You can too.

That is the only promise I make.

If you do this work fully—

You don’t “fix” your life.

You stop thinking that you need to.

Because you can finally understand it.

And yourself.

REMEMBER

If you’re not willing to sit with deep discomfort—

Stop now.

If you are?

Then get on with it.

—Sharon and Chase Murphy

[GET THE FREE WORKBOOK]