The free download in the “links” above, Kick Rocks: The Book, is a very real, very direct and honest understanding of my own personal journey on the  “how” I got “here” for this very moment that has you reading these words. How I got to this amazing relationship with my beloved wife. How I got “free” of the very things that actually helped establish in me the willingness to share with you as I do. And with that, I wanted this book to serve as a foundation, for some of you, as to the depth and reasoning for this site and the work that we’ve created to share with you. There are no gimmicks, no “calls to action”. Download it. Read it or don’t. But what you will know, without a shadow of a doubt, that everything created here is about living and loving the life that you really, truly want.

And like everything else here, in the book, in the course, in all that we offer here, we don’t pretend that we’re for everyone. And we own that. We love it because that was never our intention. And we don’t apologize for it. So, if the site is too long… if the tenor and tone is “off-putting”… if the “language” is too much… whatever it may be, if you’re offended and feel the need to leave, we completely understand.

But that changes nothing here.

Period.

The truth is a very interesting thing. What’s true for one person is not necessarily true for another. In some cases, even for ourselves, the truth is often colored and shaded by memory, the noise of others and what they recall and deem to be accurate, and then, of course, there is the actual truth, whatever it may be. So what’s the correct one? What’s the one that is the accurate, unfiltered, unadulterated and purest essence of fact.

I don’t know. And I don’t pretend that I do.

When I began this journey, I wasn’t yet married to Sharon. In fact, when all of this started, I didn’t even know that she existed. Whoever she was, was a nameless, formless hope that lived inside of me and one that I wrestled with. If such a person existed, would she be able to love me if she was privy to each and every one of my skeletons, issues, cracks, failures, disappointments and fears? 

What was easiest for me at the time, it seemed, was to cultivate a relationship with someone that was “good enough”. She knew enough about me, all that I was consciously willing to disclose and that didn’t breach the wall of unforgivable, deeper darkness that was my sense that I was, in so many ways, a walking and breathing piece of literal shit that did not truly deserve to live anything close to true happiness.
 
I learned early, and I learned it well, that to be me, that to express that which I knew myself to be, was to court and invite punishment, pain, abandonment, criticism and ridicule; it was better to keep the head down, the emotional wants and needs to myself and move, and navigate, and live in a way that pleased those in power and through whom so much of ability to thrive was held.

Parents. Community. Culture. Intimate partners. All and everyone, each and everything, seemed inexorably tied to pleasing some power “out there” that seemed to be seeding and nurturing a life that I didn’t ask for, that I didn’t want, and yet didn’t know how to leave and then create my own.
 
Religion hadn’t taught me that. School sure as shit hadn’t taught me. No other person that I knew had ever sat with me and explained the truth of life, or more, what it meant to be, me. No one.

I am sharing all of this with you for several reasons. 

I am openly and literally seeking to dissuade many of you from even going any further with this. This is not for everyone. This simply is not, in ways that most people want to experience, something that I choose to water-down and make more palatable. I tried that shit and it made matters even more challenging because I had to seemingly forever edit and silence myself, when in truth, what I had to share and say would have sent them scurrying. And here’s some truth for you. In the end, they did scurry. In the end, I was still seen as too intense, too demanding and not yielding enough to make room for the emotional paradigms and their desire to not really rock the boat.
 
That shit doesn’t work. Continuing to believe, to talk, to accept, to behave and accept life in the manner in which you have always done so simply does not provide the necessary foundation for the kind of change that people, myself included, say that they want.

This is fucking hard-ass work. It demands an honesty that most people don’t want to fuck with. This work means that you have to look at yourself in a light that is, in so, many, many ways, not as favorable as we pretend for ourselves that it is.

I know that some of you are already saying, “I am ready!” - and yes, I have had enough experience to know that out of the one hundred people that may find themselves here, many will not even have made it this far. And for those that do make it this far, and say “yes, yes, yes”, even more will drop out as I reveal even more as to the literal demands that this process is heaped upon you.

But there is NO shame in any of this, and I want you all to know that right the fuck now. I started and stopped so many times that I couldn’t legitimately tell you how often it happened. So no, I don’t accuse anyone of failure, of cowardice or weakness; each of us is in a unique space and time in our lives and it is not necessary to expect that each person claim freedom and liberation at the same time and pace. 

Do you understand what I am saying here? Do you understand that this is not an easy path? Do you truly appreciate that this is going to tax you?
 
If you want to know more, come on in.

By the way, for the doubters, for the ones that have been burned like I was by the wonderful marketing that impressed me to part with my money, this site has no “funnel”. What that means is this. There is nothing to buy here until you’re convinced in your own way and time to do so. But there is no quick fix. You will have run the gauntlet that I have intentionally created.
 
And I say this again, and for some of you, you still won’t believe me, but my soul’s purpose at this point, is to dissuade the vast majority of you from even bothering to go any further.

Now, there’s some truth.

So, if you weathered all of this, and you’re still here and want to know, come on in….