Before you buy anything.

“Why is this man expecting me to actually read all of this, when all I want to do is buy the workbook?”

Simply; I want you to know what you’re about to walk into if you do decide to continue.

As I was talking to my wife, months ago, about doing this whole project in a constructive, organized way, I looked around at who was doing what, how they were doing it and how my voice might lend anything useful to what appears to be a very, very crowded space of life coaches, healers, gurus and others all claiming to have the answer.

I am none of that.

As I wept in my wife’s lap at my frustration over not being able to effectively translate what I had to do in my life to get to where I was in that moment, I realized I was bending over backward to not offend others from a very genuine place in my heart to help, but in trying to coat everything in that rah-rah, toxic-positivity varnish that is so rampant, I found that I simply couldn’t sustain it—and the truth is, that’s never been my wheelhouse; there are some truths that simply don’t have a “gleeful” component to them. They are raw. They demand of us that which dare not release or give up. The “rah-rah”… It’s not how I survived. It’s not how I lead. It’s not how I got free from the bullshit I called “living”.

I am in no way suggesting that those other perspectives and methods are ineffective, rather, in all of my own personal search for answers, none of those really granted me the depth of reason and directness that I needed.

For me.

What I wanted, for me, in all those years of pain, frustration, confusion and emotional isolation, was for someone to tell it to me straight, with a rawness that was compassionate, and yet at the same, would not accept my “excuses” or “reasons” for not following through with what they asked me to do, and what was asked of me as a person.

I am that person.

Since I am, this is a perfect time to tell you that I am one of the most compassionate people on this planet, and yet, I also know that compassion can only go so far when one is trying to come out of their own personal darkness, on their own terms, for their own reasons.

So with that, let me tell you why most of you, yes, most of you, should keep your money, think of me and what I am doing, in the manner in which I do it, in any way that you so choose. Because truth is, I am literally trying to dissuade most of you from even in bothering to do this.

At all.

What no one, not a single person ever told me, was that there would come a time during the search, during the emotional reconstruction and liberation, that would challenge my sense of peace and wellbeing in such a way as to, literally, cause me to ask of myself, the universe, life, whatever you want to call it, “what the actual fuck have I done?”

Your time will come.

Not maybe. Not perhaps. No. Your time will come.

When that happens, some of you will say “fuck this” and stop. What I will tell you now, is that when that moment comes, and again, it will, do what you need to do, to get your balance back. But that balance won’t come in a bottle, at the end of a pipe, in random bedrooms with people that are merely physical bandaids for the emotional pain that you’re experiencing. What you won’t do, is blame me, the universe, my workbook, life, god, or whatever else it is “out there”. Well, maybe you will, but you will, by then, understand the relationship between your own self-concept and your responses to life’s challenges, up and downs, and moments that just plain, suck.

You will cry. You will rage. You will want to quit. You will loathe the very nature of life. You will want to take it all back.

But you will continue.

You will continue because you will have really done the work to get to that moment and you will understand and remember, perhaps not immediately in that moment, that you are fucking stronger and more powerful than you even dared imagine. You will remember that, perhaps for the first time ever, that you are someone that you can trust. You will remember that what you are experiencing, like every other thing that has ever happened to you, is just a moment. You will remember to breathe, be in the moment, ask the appropriate questions and commune with that new appreciation and love that you have for yourself.

You will remember the person that you dared to believe in.

You will, remember.

But you will hurt first. You will feel the fear, doubt and confusion quite acutely. And quite personally.

But you will remember.

And you will continue.

But only if you understand the stakes.

And only if you give your all.

In the end, you will know, you.

You.

Are you ready?

Accountability

Real Growth

Liberation

You have to do the work. No one can do it for you.

Quite bluntly, if you’re able to, or willing to, or too afraid to do the work, then this simply is not the place for you. Yet. Consider everything that I shared here. Contemplate. Deeply. Then, decide.

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